Editorial Board - Press & Sun Bulletin
Re: My last two submittals and today's Guest Viewpoint by Michael Elliot
I often question my sanity. I look around and see things that seem to
me so clearly insane and yet to others make perfect sense. I wonder if
my Irish Catholic upbringing has filled my head with spiritual nonsense
and clouded my otherwise logical mind. I am a programmer by trade … I could
brag and say I was a systems analyst or designer … but in reality, I am
the chief cook and bottle washer of a small software company where everyone
wears many hats. I should be writing programs right now … but here I am
again … questioning my sanity.
Writing computer programs is easy and logical. If I do not stay logical
the program simply will not run, or it crashes and burns somewhere in the
middle, or it corrupts the data or gives results that do not add up. The
programs can get quite complex, requiring a great deal of testing before
release and invariably, some bugs do slip through to the field … but they
are typically annoyances and can easily be found and squashed in a maintenance
release.
When I was young, I wanted to be a writer and philosopher when I grew
up. I liked arguing with the great minds in much ado about nothing conversation
as if anyone could answer the timeless question of why we are here. I still
like those conversations but the economic realities of raising a family
caused me to start a more practical business.
Computers was a logical choice for exercising the logic I enjoyed. I
was 30 when I started my business. I told myself "I'll make a fortune
and retire at 40. I'll go to some hillside and write without worry of financial
reward." I'm 44 now and I still haven't made it to that hill. Business
is good … but not that good … and though I have a knack for programming,
I lack business skills and have no regard for money. It's that philosopher
in me.
And it's that philosopher in me that has me here now, not writing programs
that add up, but once again questioning my sanity. Things would make perfect
sense if it were not for one, small, spiritual point that I am hung up
on. I believe in the dignity of man.
I do not know if it was the Irish Catholics that got me screwed up with
this belief, or if it was something I picked up in a history or social
studies class, but it really gets in the way of my logic. Indeed, it gets
me going so much that sometimes I will stand on a soap box and shout "I
will not go gentle into that good night. I will rage against the dying
of the light."
What are they thinking on the other end, I wonder? Religious zealot?
Wacko? The man who would be king? Demagogue?
No. I'm just an ordinary guy, I tell myself. I have a wife and kids
and food on the table. Life should be good. I should be quiet. But it continues
to gnaw at me. We are managing human life like we manage cattle or a crop
of potatoes. In this sense, we are making great progress. It is the best
of times. It is the worst of times. Am I insane?
Brian J. McMahon 797-5016
p.s. I'm not asking for this to be published. I'm just asking you to
answer my question.
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